Mordecai’s First IEP

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Mordecai 9 years old

Tilly saved my bacon yesterday. I was happily sitting here at the computer blogging when she said, "Oh, you have a meeting at Mordecai's school today, right?". Umm…yeah. I completely blanked out on it. Despite the fact that it is clearly written on my calendar and I had discussed it with Chuck. At any rate, I had nearly an hour before his appointment, so it was no biggie. I was just glad I had Tilly here…

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Being a goofball…

For those of you who aren't up your school lingo and IEP is an Individualized Education Plan. In Mordecai's case this first IEP was to determine eligibility for Special Ed. He qualifies, of course, as we knew he would since he has an official diagnosis that falls on the  Fetal Alcohol Spectrum. 

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Without boring you will all the details let me just say he lags behind is reading, writing and math. He does well socially, has friends and for the most part works for his teacher. He still loves school. He has the occasional day when he is reluctant to go (usually if he knows we are going somewhere and he is missing out). The six other students in his class are severely disabled (either mentally or physically). This makes Mordecai the "star" student in his class. A good position for him. I know it's been hard to have his younger siblings effortlessly pass him academically. He helps in his class and is one of the only students who signs to the non-verbal child. 

He has 38 sight words and reads at a late kindergarten level…this is of course news to me since despite years of effort he refused to display this skill to me. I knew he had a handful of words, but most of those 38 he went into school knowing (according to his teacher). His teacher has him phonetically writing one words sentences…something he would never have done for me. One interesting note is the speech therapist said he can accurately repeat long, complicated sentences, but can't use the same words in his own sentences. His poor vocabulary is something I've noted. What this means is he can often sound like he knows what he talking about…and often seems more capable than he really is- very common for people with FASD. In a social setting it's nice because he comes off as being very "normal". Other kids don't realize he has any issues. 

And on a final note, everyone I have worked with at the school has been helpful, friendly, and makes me feel completely part of the team. I am thankful that I followed my gut and enrolled him. So far it's all been good.

 

Mordecai’s First Day of School

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Mordecai, age 9. Isn't he simply adorable? 

For the reader who asked, yesterday was Mordecai's first day of school ever. The decision to put him in school came after much prayer, thought and discussion with his doctor. Mordecai was diagnosed with Static Encephelopathy Alcohol Exposed at age 2 1/2. In plain, brutal English, that means brain damage from prenatal alcohol exposure. Along with learning difficulties he deals with behavioral issues and rage. It was the behavior issues that sealed my decision to send him to school, not his academic skills. I won't go into all the drama here and now, but that's why he is in school. I don't think he will act out in school to the extent he does at home. He doesn't like to "grump" in front of his friends or when we are out in public so I am hoping that carries over into school.

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Mordecai boarded the school bus without a backward glance. He is in the Intensive Learning class. Apparently we can't use the term "special ed" because that might hurt the kids self-esteem or something? I don't know. There are seven students, one teacher and two aids in his class. 

His school is small and only a five minute's drive from our house, despite our rural location. And since we live in a rural location, the school bus picks him up right at the top of our driveway. My little guy was gone from 9:55 to 4:10 yesterday. What a long day for a kid who gets exhausted from two hours of Cub Scouts!

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When he came home he headed straight for the couch and opened his lunch box. All he had eaten was his sandwich. He proceeded to eat the rest of his lunch and listen to books  read by his siblings. I asked Mordecai to tell me two things that he did in school and he said he couldn't remember…I asked him to tell me one thing he did and after much thought he said, "played at recess". 

So that's about all I know about his day. I let him play the Gameboy (a rare treat in our house) becasue I could see how very tired he was and how much he just needed some down time. I had to meet a client at 6:00, then Hilary for Grump Therapy, so I wasn't here to see him the rest of the evening. I do wonder how enthusiastic he'll be to head off today….

School…Again?

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Like it or not, I'm mentally (if not physically) gearing up for the new school year. The weather is finally, finally nice, so this week is chock full of summer type activities. Like playing outside. Swimming. And picking blueberries. As far as school prep though, here's my list of what to do so far:

    *Clear out school cupboards. I plan to empty these out and only put back in what we will be actively using this year. These cupboards are in our dining room, so anything not currently in use can be stored elsewhere. 

    * Sort big kids school stuff. For the last couple of years we have used magazine holders to sort each child's school books, but for my high school/ and middle schoolers they are just too small. So, I plan to store their books in the dividers in the living room shelf Chuck built.

    * Find a place for our art supplies. If anyone out there has any suggestions on brilliant, efficient and/or visually attractive ways to sort school supplies, please, let me know.

    * Make photo cards of kindergarten activities. This will be mainly for Avi and Tucker. I want to be able to slip a couple of cards into their school bins so they know what to do. My three highest-need students won't be in our little homeschool this year, so I really want to focus on getting these two off to a good start.

    * Get an "inbox" for work that needs to be checked.

    * Get school boxes for little kids. Find a place to store said school boxes.

    * Write down academic goals for each child. These will be printed and placed in my school binder for my reference.

    * Orgainize school planning notebook.

    * Finalize list of books and curriculum to order.

That's my list so far…I also want to have the first month of school planned (worksheets copied, etc) before we begin. And thinking about the new school year has me thinking about a couple of posts to recommend resources, etc. 

Is there anything you would like to know about? Any questions you have as I get my "back to school" posts up and running? Leave a comment and I'll add it to the posts I'm working on. Have any suggestions, awesome tips? Leave a comment. If you blog, feel free to leave a link to any posts that relate. 

Oh, and be sure to enjoy the rest of summer!

At the Lake

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Mordecai has a real flair for jumping off the swings!

Yesterday we finally had another beautiful summer day. They’ve been few and far between this year, so we try to take advantage of every one.

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Hezekiah’s a wee bit more practical and straightforward in his jumping.

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And Avi. You, my dear friends, are always up for a good Avi story…right? Avi saw me taking pictures of the boys jumping off the swing and wanted to get in on the action.

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So I took this shot. But despite the Mary Poppins-esque-ness of the photo, she didn’t like it. It didn’t have the oomph that Mordecai’s photo had. So she wanted me to take more. No problem.

As she was swinging a little girl came up to her and said, “Excuse me, but when you come back to play would you please not throw bark at us?”. Being the mean, cruel mother that I am, I made her answer the little girl. The girl replied with a cheerful, “Okay, and thanks for answering!” and skipped off.

Avi, on the other hand, was fuming. I’ve said it before, hell hath no fury like an Avi scorned.

Now Avi was out to punish public enemy number one. Me. Her face was dark and angry and she immediately began complaining that if I took pictures of her jumping Hezekiah would be in them. In a moment of uncalled for optimism, I moved directly in front of her and said, “Okay, I’ll take pictures from here”. Avi would not be appeased. She continued to complain loudly that that Hezekiah would be in her pictures (something that didn’t bother her a bit until she was mad at me). So I responded cheerfully, okay, I’ll just take pictures of Hezekiah then. I turned my camera and waited a few moments to frame the shot, then took one of Hezekiah. The moment the shutter was pressed and I began to lower my camera, Avi launched herself off the swing and before her feet even touched the ground she was wailing, “You said you would take a  picture of me. Why didn’t you take my picture?” and on and on ad naseum. The entire time until we left the park.

*sigh*

I share this story with you because this is life with Avi at six. When I talk about her behavioral issues, this is a prime example of what I mean. Any time we take her out around other people, or we have people over to our house, she becomes overstimulated and begins to act out. Please don’t take this antedote in the wrong way. I wasn’t mad at Avi. Quite the opposite. As infuriating (and humilating) as it can be at times, my heart breaks for my little girl who doesn’t yet have the skills to play with others her age. Prior to this incident, I watched Avi looking and groups of children playing. She was observing them. Studying them. And yet, when she approached, she couldn’t keep herself together. Craving the negative attention, she felt the need to be mean, rather than to play. It is something we are working on and I have confidence she will eventually overcome this, but right now it’s really, really hard. For both of us.

If you see me at the park, you will recognize me right away. I’m the mean mom who always either: picks on Avi (look, I refused to take a picture of my little girl!) or the mom who makes her poor daughter sit by her side the whole time.

*sigh*

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My older children were at the park with us, but they were off exploring the lake.

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And hanging around.

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I see a future Gap model, what do you think?

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Apollo discovered the simple joy of throwing wet sand. At me.

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Judah said he saw some fish and when I told Apollo, he walked over to the lake and started making his very distinctive sound “zzzsssszzzzzz” that means fish. It sounds nothing like the word “fish” but we all know what it means.

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Have a great weekend!