Ways I’m Winning at Parenting this Week

posted in: Humor | 9

I hope I don’t make you too wildly jealous with today’s  post. What can I say, we all need a little inspiration, right? Here are some ways I am winning at parenting this week.Ways I'm winning at parenting.

My six-year-old dressed himself for church today. 

He wore an adorable red and aqua striped polo shirt paired with blue, green and white plaid shorts, gray Spiderman socks that came up to his knees and hideous, multicolored light up tennis shoes that I paid way too much money for.

While I couldn’t quite bring myself to take a picture, I did let him go out in public dressed light a deranged clown on drugs.

That must count for something. 

Ways I'm winning at parenting.

[Back story: In our house we like to call a spade a spade when it comes to body parts. We use anatomically correct terms. On occasion, in a joking manner, we will call a certain body part by its derivative “peenie” ]

Imagine my surprise earlier this week when, as my kids were watching a Pokemon movie across the room (I know, I know. I had to be across the room to prevent the Projectile Vomit Response) I heard the following comments:

Look at the peenie! It’s so small. 

and then a few minutes later,

“Look how big the peenie is now! It’s so big and powerful”. 

Yeah, that got my attention. 

I looked at the TV and could see nothing worrisome.

Thank goodness after a few well-thought out questions (I am the queen of keeping a straight face) my children described the cute, pink Pokemon which goes by the name of Happiny. I know, spelled out it doesn’t look bad at all.

It looks innocent! Joyous! Happy!

By my kids (and presumably the characters in the show) pronounce the name: huh-peenie. Try having a child yell, “Look at Happiny! It’s so small” across the room and then tell me what you think.*

*attempt at your own risk preferably not out in public or in front of grandma.

Ways I am currently winning at parenting.

And just in case you are jealous of my (clearly) pending Mom of the Year award you might also want to know that a certain six year old had half a can of olives and a sucker* for breakfast before church yesterday.

What can I say? The olives are full of healthy fats (his dietician would love it!) and the sucker? Well, it came from a  sibling.

No need to worry, halfway through the service when he was complaining that he was hungry, I took him to the kitchen and fed him three Slim Jims and half a packet of peanuts (high fat!) that were left in my bag from a recent birth. And then my parents took him out to lunch where he reportedly consumed three pieces of pizza…so I think it all evened out in the end.

So tell me, how are you winning at parenting this week?

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9 Responses

  1. You know, there was a time that you probably couldn’t have imagined Apollo eating half a can of olives, a sucker, slim jims, peanuts and 3 slices of pizza all by lunchtime. In 100% seriousness, I really do call that a parenting win!

  2. YES YES YES! Michelle was thinking what I was… think back a year or two and LOOK HOW MUCH APOLLO ATE IN ONE DAY!!! I’m getting the shivers by how awesome that is!

    And the outfit… meh. If he was an only child, you’d be applauded for letting him be a whimsical free spirit ;D

    • Yes, it was a ton of food! But we are supposed to be working on routine, eating solid meals, etc. But it was one single day, we will survive. And YES! The free spirit. With one child it is admired, with 14 it is an overwhelmed mom who can’t keep up on the laundry!

  3. ‘so I think it all evened out in the end.’ I see what you did there.

  4. the Toddler Wrangler

    Yesterday I took my 5-year-old to therapy with her shirt on backwards and her shoes on the wrong feet. Hey, this time she did it herself and did NOT scream bloody murder over it and did NOT take six hours (skipping breakfast, snack, and lunch) to do it. WIN!!

    This morning when I dropped my 7-year-old off at school (late for morning worship…AGAIN…) my foot slipped off the brake pedal and my big ol’ truck nosed too far forward and met the big ol’ concrete building pillar with a THUMP…ten feet from where the director of the school was standing talking to another parent. Despite her alarmed expression, and mine, there was only pillar paint on my bumper. No noticeable effect to the pillar. Sure boosted my confidence right before hopping on the highway for a couple hours.

    Tonight after dinner, since my husband is out of town with one child, and he’s usually the Official Tooth Brusher in our Very VERY Structured bedtime rituals, and since I have two hands but three toddlers here (I know, that ratio would be practically a vacation for you, but I’ve only been a mama for 2 1/2 years, so still learning)……I conveniently “forgot” about toothbrushing just this one night, and hoped they wouldn’t remind me as they usually would. They didn’t.

    I thought the same thing as the other commenters about how much Apollo ate! Wow!!

    • Those are hilarious!Thank you for sharing. No mama guilting here on my site. I have to admit I grinned when you mentioned crashing into the pillar (after my recent car smashing experience). My husband is the one who “forgets” about tooth brushing Every single time I’m not here at bedtime for the last 20 years!

  5. Somebody has the same clothing tastes as my 8-year old. This week for school picture day I got the girls clothes ready but figured my son had it under control with instructions to put on a golf shirt. Imagine my surprise when I got home at the end of the work day to find him dressed in a yellow and gray golf shirt, blue and green plaid shorts, neon green socks and basketball shoes. He was so proud of himself and can hardly wait for mommy to se the proofs so we can get a large package of the overpriced pictures.

    • Oh yeah. And it is so much worse in a large family like ours, where people assume we are too busy or overwhelmed to dress our kids…

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