Awkward Family Moments

posted in: Apollo, Humor | 5

IMG_2814 blog Awkward family moments. Every family has them. It’s just that with a large family there are so many more!

Take Friday’s shopping adventure. I headed to our local bulk store and loaded up a flatbed cart of groceries. The cashier rang up our total and I pulled out the cash to pay…only to hear the closest child exclaim loudly,

“Mom! Where did you get that money?”

Because apparently I’ve never paid for groceries before? When questioned, the child said s/he hadn’t seen that type of money before. It was our new $100 bills that have color on the back…

Okay, then.

This reminded me immediately of the shopping trip just before I left for New Zealand when I grabbed some large individually wrapped candy canes for the kids’ stockings. The cashier rang them up and I took them from her to place in my purse so they wouldn’t be crushed in the general groceries for a dozen plus people. Tucker, seeing me put the candy canes in my purse, asked loudly enough for everyone within two aisles to hear,

“Mom, did you pay for those?!”

Because, apparently, Tucker needs to guard against my shoplifting?!

*sigh*

IMG_2708 blog

And here is a conversation we had at our dinner table recently:

Me: When Apollo was born Tucker asked if we were going to adopt him, and when I said no he burst into tears and said, “but I wanted to keep him.”

Apollo: Yeah, well I’m gonna get old and die, and then you won’t get to keep me.

Enoch: Well, we’ll die too, and go to heaven and see you there.

Apollo: Yeah, well I’m gonna die first and beat you there!

And then just the other day, Apollo came up to me and said,

“Mama, I love you so much, I’m going to share your tea with me!”

It’s hard to argue with that logic, yes?

———-

{Thank you to everyone who replied to Saturday’s heavy post. I really debated about whether or not to post that as I try to keep the blog light-hearted. I am glad that I did! My heart goes out to every parent who has lost a child. If nothing else, we can be there to bear the burden for one another}

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5 Responses

  1. Kestrel will often take something from my plate and say, “good sharing Mommy!” Yeah…not quite how that sharing idea works, kiddo.

  2. These are lovely. Here’s one of mine: a wonderful babysitter came for an interview just to meet the kids. She is a very large, generous woman. My middle child, then four, looked her over pointedly and asked, “Mommy, why is she so fat?” (And then I died of embarrassment! He was taken aside and I energetically pointed out why he should not say that.)
    His brother, when also about age four, was asked by an equally large aunt what he would like for Christmas. He looked his aunt up and down and then said, “a chocolate Auntie Uschi!”
    She was not amused, but she did give him a big hunk of chocolate. (While I died of embarrassment.)
    My daughter, when in kindergarten, had a boyfriend whom she enjoyed visiting. His very pleasant mom happens to be very dykey. One day when the mom and I were arranging a visit, my daughter said, “Gee! Sam’s mommy looks like a daddy!”
    I’ve been dying of embarrassment ever since, but I don’t think the other mom minded too much. I’m kind of hoping she didn’t understand, since my daughter made the announcement in English and Sam and his mom only speak German.

  3. When my oldest was 5 we were visiting family and went to church with them. We were still working on bathroom procedures. During the sermon my niece took her to the bathroom. The service was lead by a guest pastor that fateful day. During a “pause for effect” in his sermon my lovely child opened the door and yelled very loudly “Mom! I went poop and wiped my butt all by myself!” I immediately tried to slink down as low as I could so nobody would know who “Mom” was. It totally didn’t work when she ran up to me for the celebratory high 5. **sigh** And, of course, because it was a special day they had a lunch afterward. She just turned 20 and people in that town STILL talk about that day!

  4. We had one of those recently. We were visiting a church considering supporting us as missionaries. John Mark (5) went into the Sunday School class during service. Afterwards, when we were at a luncheon the missions committee held for us, the pastor asked how he had liked the class. John Mark proudly told him, “I knew all the answers because your church did Daniel in the lion’s den just like everyone else’s. Do you guys know there are other stories in the Bible? You should try them!” Smack.my.head.

  5. Oh man. Here’s mine: at the store the other day, my 2 year old daughter pointed to a little pink glue gun and said, “Dat look like a gun to shoot people wif!” I was like, !?!?!?! We are SO not that family, lol! Thankfully, I dot think too many people heard her!

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