How to Deal with Siblings Arguments

Do you find that your children are always fighting against each other over little things? There are very few children who are best friends with their siblings and play together peacefully for hours. You may find yourself solving more arguments each day, but don’t worry because this is their way to learn how to interact and behave with others.

OBSERVE THEM
The first thing you should do is observe the fights and try to find the reasons for every fight. Keep in mind that you maybe treating them differently, a kid more demanding would be given more attention and you may expect more from the quieter child. Take note of what sets them off because this will make it easier to plan your next move.

TALK TO THEM
Approach your children and tell them how all of it affects you and that you want to sort things out to make things better. If the arguments result in violence, set up some strict family rules. Make sure that your children know that breaking those rules will result in harsh consequences.
Remember, never hit your children or insult them, because they will learn from you and they will make this their habit. You don’t want to be a bad influence on your children, so avoid it.
When an argument starts, listen to both children attentively and calmly. It will take time, but it will be worth it. Dismissing your children’s angry feelings or resentments is a bad idea. Never try to talk them out of their feelings; anger is just a part of human behavior and we often say things we donít mean. Your children will know that you acknowledge their upset feelings. This will make them feel better and teach them to treat their siblingís feelings the same way when itís their turn.
After you have listened to how they feel and having acknowledged their emotions, help your children to find their own solutions. Teach them how to listen and find solutions rather than fighting. Exercise fairness in their games. Check their responses the next time they end up in an argument.

HOW TO TREAT THEM
Never make comparisons. You may find that one child is more responsive and cooperative than the other, but that doesnít mean that you should compare them to one another. It will intensify envy between the children. Moreover, instead of solving the argument you may add more reason for them to start a fight each time.
Treat all children individually rather than equally. Point out what’s unique about them, rather than telling them you love them equally. Things won’t change overnight but step by step; the skills you teach them will help them later on in their life.

Mike is a father of two, who is well used to brother and sister’s arguments. Mike has been writing about parenting for the last 4 years. Aside from writing, Mike is passionate about  action figures and his children.