Do you have any idea wha this humble stack of clothing represents? My boy is finally, finally growing. Apollo at 15 months is now up to a very respectable 19 pounds. It appears that his high fat diet is working. He has finally begun to outgrow the clothing that I bought him when he was six months old. I have photos of him wearing the clothes he’s just outgrown in January. Yes, nine months ago. Everything he has outgrown has been in length (in fact his pants still literally fall off if he isn’t in a cloth diaper) but he is growing! So to celebrate I had a little online shopping spree. After 15 months of struggling to feed my baby, I thought it was well justified. Chuck was just happy we actually had to buy him new clothes.
Yesterday’s appointment went well. He sat at a little table and let me spoon applesauce into his mouth. An unheard of event at our house. While it would have been nice in a way for him to display his more typical behavior of screaming bloody murder and acting like he was being tortured, the reality is he’s getting better.
Apollo at Seattle Children’s Hospital
I won’t go into all the details, but I left with some helpful suggestions. The theory at this point is that his esophogus was so badly damaged from ten months of untreated reflux (we know there was damage- it was visible when the ENT stuck the scope down his throat) that he learned early on that eating=pain. So he only ate and nursed enough to stay alive. Now our job is to teach him that eating is safe.
My heart breaks to think about all the suffering this little guy has gone through. I had no idea he had reflux. Several of you blog readers mentioned it early on, but he never spit up and he hated his carseat (most reflux babies like to sit upright- it reduces reflux and pain). I think of all the days he spent crying in pain because he can’t tolerate dairy (even before solids when he was exclusively breastfed) and in pain because of the reflux. The nights he spent awake, crying and coughing.
I’ll tell you what though, I am so very thankful that I followed my gut and didn’t tow the hardline, being a “good parent” and making him cry it out. Imagine if we left him to cry in his crib night after night when he was hungry and in pain (and we didn’t know it) so he would “learn to sleep” ? Instead I nursed him, walked with him, comforted him and let him know he wasn’t alone. And now that he isn’t constantly hungry and in pain, he’s sleeping.
Don’t get me wrong, most of our babies have gotten to the point where we knew they were simply in the “habit” of waking up at night. They were growing and doing well and we needed to teach them that I was not, in fact, Mom’s All Night Diner. So we spent a few nights having them “cry it out”. This consisted of us checking to make sure they weren’t wet, poopy, sick, etc, then laying them back down to go to sleep on their own. But with Apollo, I knew something was “off”. And it’s been worth 15 months of a lack of sleep to know I am doing the right thing for my baby.
c
That reminds me, the OC at the appointment yesterday repeatedly said to me, “I know you probably don’t have time for this or that” or “You’re busy, so you probably can’t do this…” in reference to our large family until I finally said, “I have time to do whatever I need to keep Apollo healthy”. And I do.
The other amusing comment was when the OC said, “Well, other than being underweight he seems to have been really heathly…well, except for the RSV and pneumonia and reflux…” to which I added, “and repeated ear and respiratory infections”. Yes, other than all that (and his prolapsed cord and frenulectomy) I’d say he’s been fit as a fiddle!
Obviously it’s natural to feel bad for the little guy at all his past suffering. But children are so resilent he will not even remember a moment of all these issues. You did what you thought was right to do at each stage. And the docs see all kinds of terribly sick children with cancers and other severe illnesses. So I guess this makes Apollos issues seem light weight. Love you praying today for your needs. xo
SO glad he is doing better, Renee And yes, I definitely think a shopping spree was in order.
That’s just great news! And what a cute guy he is — I can’t get enough of those expressive eyebrows!
I’m so glad he is gaining weight and growing! Praying for your little guy.
I am so happy A is gaining weight. I go next week for well visit with Noah and he will be about 13 months.I hope he is around 19 lbs. LOL. I also had to go to a MOM to Mom sale and get 12 month(up from 6-9 month) one piece Carter outfits as he is getting taller.You could fit 3 of him in there next to each other though. It is so funny to see him in his diaper.He is so very tiny,but happy and healthy.
My MIL has reflux and coughs all the time. It’s tricky with little ones who can’t communicate 100% of their needs with us. We taught all our babies to sign also.
Glad the appointment went well. I am still voting! Could you pray for my family also. We are praying about cutting DS half day 1st grade at Public school down to 3 days a week if they will let us. He is having a hard time with all the transitions…lunch,recess,back to class,back home,naps for 3 hrs since so exhausted….then I have to ” do school” after dinner when he wants to play outside. Almost everyday he gets “in trouble”. This is not good with only a 4 hr day.
He is just so aggressive towards his sister that she needs a break. And we need respite.Hard to be cussed out all day. i have no idea what it would be like to have a “typical” child for just an afternoon. No walking on eggshells etc…. Not much support from family.
Please pray we are led to the right decision as we are taking steps soon to adopt again. Sorry to turn this about me. I will keep praying for your family.
I hope M is doing well at school. I would love to hear an update.
Have a good one,
Liz
I have to tell you that at least 5x the site has told me “I am sorry, it looks like someone has already voted from this computer.” Which is N O T not true bc my 9 and 10 yr olds do not know to vote, and no one uses my computer. So… I am sorry but sometimes I cannot vote! Apollo is adorable in these photos, I am sorry he has been so sick but glad that he has had comforting people.
Such great news about Apollo! In DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) two of the main points are: 1) You are doing the best that you can (or did the best at the time with the information you had), and 2) You can do better (which you are!). These have helped me not beat myself up with all the “what if, would’a, could’a, and should’as that go through my head of 25 years of parenting steps and missteps.
And a note to Liz – reading over your note reminds me of what we have gone through the past 6 years with one of our adopted children. I cannot recommend this book highly enough: “Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions” – it is written by parents for parents. I wish I had read it a long time ago – would have helped immensely (here I go with one of those darn “should’as”). Blessings all you mothers who are doing your best to raise these little bundles of joy . . . and challenge! xo
I am so happy to hear that things are getting better with Apollo and his eating and sleeping.
It must help to have some answers at last.
I’ve been voting every day for you. Your blog is fantastic!
I am glad that you have had some help. It is amazing how things can still be underdiagnosed. I think I understand your feelings. I cried when I was told my daughter’s hearing was damaged from repeated infections. That wasn’t from lack of trying to help her. Or that her source of severe failure to thrive was migraine. That took until she was five and a half to diagnose.
I am smiling at today’s photos. I love the shirt but most of all I love the little boy feet. So precious.
Thanks for the update. I’m glad you’re beginning a new stage where you’re more aware of what’s going on and how to help him rather than just surviving. Keep growing Apollo!
I friend sent me your blog after reading this post. I read through this and understood every word, every struggle that you and Apollo are going through. My son is 2 1/2 and we just finally started eating therapy this year. We should have started much sooner but I was convinced I could handle all of his eating issues. His stem from the exact same problem as Apollo’s — severe acid reflux over many months resulting in a distrust and fear of food. I wish we would have started earlier– like you have. I will check back here from time to time and cheer over your progress.
Melissa
We are also in WA state! Maybe, once we mom’s get the hang of this “eating therapy” thing, we could try a little “group therapy” with our guys!
http://thelemanskis.blogspot.com/2011/08/food-therapy.html
Meliski- my biggest regret is also that I didnt get help sooner. I so wish I would have had this info 6 months or a year ago. At this point we have done a lot of the therapy by instinct and trial and error. We have had success with him drinking out of his special cup they gave him from Childrens! Go, Apollo. And yes, well have to meet for lunch sometime lol!
Meliski- I just read the post you linked to…Who imagines a place in life where your kids has to have eating therapy. Sooo, crazy. It was great to read your post and realize we are/did a lot of the things mentioned and the OC we had suggested much of what you are doing. Thanks for contacting me!
Oh, he is such a handsome boy! I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again- I love those big brown eyes.
I have my own little brown-eyed, wispy-haired little boy who is about eight months older than Apollo. 
I’m glad you are finally getting answers. Reflux seems like it would explain his respitory issues too perhaps- maybe he occasionally aspirated as a result of silent reflux, which led to those awful infections and hospital stays. You’ve done a wonderful job of following your instincts and getting Apollo the help that he needs. I hope he continues to improve!
Melissa
Oh Renee! I am just hearing myself 2 years ago as I read your post! I too just knew I shouldn’t let our son cry it out…we didn’t discover his reflux until 1 year!!! He is #8 for our family, and I had never experienced such a difficult child! I just want to send you encouragement and know that we are praying for your whole family! I just realized the other day that I always mention what a difficult child our son was…I guess the trama hits harder and lasts longer than we realize…we are now redifining who he is by walking in today! Praying your ‘today’ comes sooner than you could dream!
I so know how you feel. Having a child with feeding issues is very hard on a family. My twins were born at 26 weeks. They have both struggled with feeding. They both have reflux as is the life of the majority of preemies. My first child also had reflux and was not treated till he was over one so the twins did not go as long untreated. Wyatt is the better eater of the twins. Bailey only eats 6 ounces of baby food a day and gets most of her calories from boost kids essential. She takes periactin for hunger. The dietician said Bailey was the most severe case she has seen in a while, and the occupational therapist said she is not responding to traditional therapy. I don’t know what to do. Just remember you are not alone in the struggle. Oh, I found your blog from the circle of moms. I have been reading Smiles and Trials for years.